Saturday, March 31, 2007
it's only 10 pm now but im going to sleep. because when i am sleeping i dont have to think about anything.im feeling so miserable the whole day i really dunno what's up with me. it's not only today, it's like every other day. i found it so hard to laugh or feel a tinny bit happy at all. i think i kept to myself for too long and now all the pent up emotions are depressing me from inside.
like oh great. i cant even explain clearly how im feeling because my English happens to suck as well.
i dont feel that anyone understands me enough. my friends probably think that im complaining as usual, because that's all i do. not that it's their fault, i chose to close myself up now. my mum...she doesnt even know what im doing in my whole life, let alone talk through things with me. and the last thing i want happening is to have even my msn friend(s) (not sure if it's plural. doubt so.) drifting furthur away and away, until it's so awkward that i dont want to go online to know no one is talking to me at all.
i dunno, i just feel so screwed up in everything.
im going to hide from everyone until im feeling less screwed. not that anyone would miss my absence actually.
Monday, March 26, 2007
feeling very moody.oh well i could spend money today coz we went swensens for dinner. it wasnt very nice. i mean, you would expect Swensens at airport to be much much better than this.
and great, i screwed up my spa-s today. chem wasnt too gd, physics was just...shitty.
oh. CT results so far are CEEE.
depressing. why isnt there somebody, anybody to comfort me when im feeling like shit.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
random random randomi suddenly feel like spending money.
haha
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I think i am becoming a social outcast. i can feel myself closing up to others. i dont feel like talking much to pple. coz i find it so hard to say something that's constructive.gradually my words wont matter anymore. perhaps pple will stop noticing my presence altogether. from a quiet person i will become invisible.
it's my own problem. i know i should do something abt it, like now. but sometimes li bu cong xin, im finding it so hard to change.
sometimes i feel like going back time to become a girl again, because when im finally growing up im so much more aware of my own flaws.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
and so, i boiled some water when i came back from camp and now we have some water to drink.i realise there are always plenty of reasons to feel :(. part of being pessimistic i guess.
edit (9.41pm): oh well, im drinking milk coz the water ran out again.
i nearly choked on milk while reading sm's blog entry. it's really amusing because it's so sarcastic! hahaha
Monday, March 12, 2007
cham. no water in the house so i gotta drink milk.i appreciate my mum's work very much now. coz i cant wash clothes right, iron clothes well, and even hanging up clothes to dry gives me a neckache. like HAHA goodness.
Friday, March 09, 2007
exams are over!was feeling very happy when i walked out with tran. after we said goodbye at the overhead bridge i felt quite loserish and i started wondering what's there to be happy about actually.
i dont know what i want in life anymore. it's weird, but i dont seem to feel happy about anything? perhaps it's just the effects of being lonely at times.
shall stuff myself with ruffles, may work.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
the nap turned out to be 3.5 hours long gosh.i really didnt want to sleep that long, but i was just so exhausted and between sleeping and studying (physics for that matter) sleeping was just much more appealing. ho.
but now it looks like i have just lowered my chances of passing. sad thing is they arent high in the first place hahah
gp was bad, econs was bad, maths was bad, chem was VERY BAD (and to think i studied quite hard for it), but of course, i shall not mind them for now, because they are a thing of the past!
one more physics paper to go. shall go take a short nap first hahaha
i look forward to embracing my piggish living habits once again after 6pm tmr.
one more physics paper to go. shall go take a short nap first hahaha
i look forward to embracing my piggish living habits once again after 6pm tmr.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
i was reading my chem notes and found this highly amusing.
haha.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
argh i wish someone will look for my notes for me and lay them out in front of me, in neat piles perferably.and it wouldnt hurt too if that someone provides an assortment of snacks and brings in tea whenever i feel like drinking it. hahaha.
revision so far has been very slow and horrible. i must emphasize on the word SLOW because for the whole day i only read one physics chapter and it didnt help me in doing tys qns. (and im only talking about mcqs here) i still blank out when looking at them :(
i find myself rendered helpelss in physics qns! (<--did i use that word right) not to mention all the frustration it causes.
im facing a really big crisis coz i cant find my notes; maths notes, physics notes, chem notes... the only subject that has its complete notes is Econs.
but help, they are mostly empty!!!
common tests are depressing.